The fire pit is ready and I am ready to make my Burn Letter for New Year’s Eve!
A Burn Letter is simply a written list of all the stuff that is still bugging you about the past year. The emotional baggage or “head noise” that really should NOT be carried into the New Year. Can we agree that carrying that load has probably done enough damage already? Now, I am not dismissing the fact that we all make mistakes. We do. And those mistakes usually affect other people. In those cases, apologies need to be made so that relationships can be restored. There is also the matter of being reconciled with God which is a crucial topic all by itself. That is not what we are talking about here. Burn Letters are not for trivializing big mistakes. Burn Letters just allow us to formally dispose of the ever growing pile of other things that weigh us down emotionally. The self-condemnation stuff. We really should probably just… LET – IT – GO.
If you don’t suffer from “over-thinking” my hat is off to you. Your list may be really small. I am a driven person and a puzzle solver so it is easy for me to see ways to fix, improve or “learn from” things. I can definitely replay mistakes in my head so that I make sure that I “learn from it”. The problem is that “learning” can turn into “churning” and churning is not productive. So, in December of 2012 I decided to fight back and ceremonially lighten my load by making up a “Burn Letter”. The hope was to get rid of some “soul turbulence” as I call it. Toss that sucker in the fire and watch my troubles go up in smoke! See if it made any difference at all. Well, I didn’t know what to expect but the impact on me was HUGE! It was so much more powerful than I thought it was going to be.
As this year comes to a close, it is time again to make a Burn Letter. Now, I look forward to it. I would really encourage you to make one for yourself. Yes, the process takes some effort. Unearthing and confronting this baggage is not easy. JUST HANG IN THERE THOUGH because the emotional payoff is so worth it. This stuff is there whether you deal with it or not. The tragedy would be to just ignore it and carry the weight of it for another year. Or two. Or three… Get rid of it for crying out loud! Grab a cup of coffee, a pen and a legal pad. Just start complaining on paper. Go on a rant. Vent! Don’t watch your language – Don’t hold back. Just start writing everything down until you are empty. Then, fold up the page(s) and stick it in an envelope. Then, find a way to BURN IT.
The goal? Take all of the:
- Shoulda coulda woulda
- Disappointments
- Johnny hit me
- Life is not fair
- Things did not go my way
- I did not get that job, listing, promotion, nod, or award
- I can’t believe I did that, bought that, overpaid for that
- I can’t believe I let them take advantage if me
- That hurt my feelings
- Why was I wound up so tight?
- People did not notice me when I…
- Nobody appreciates me
- blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Write it down, fold it up and cast it into the flames 🙂
Disclaimer: I know this is not some magic recipe for happiness and yet, it did improve my attitude going into the New Year considerably. All religions and world views wrestle with life and how to navigate it. Jesus knew life was going to take its toll on us. That is why he said “Come to me all of you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest” (Matthew Chapter 11:28). My guess is that we all could use a bit more rest and a lot less negativity. So, here’s to going into the new year with a lighter heart! And if doing a Burn Letter helps you with that, writing all this down was well worth it.
